A Challenging Week

Life with twins has its challenging moments, but this is the first week where it's really hit me that it's probably going to get more and more that way. The first three months were about survival, figuring out breast feeding, teaching them to be good sleepers and lots of extra helping hands. There have been a few stages and lots of new developments, but the last few months we've been in the sweet spot. The boys have slept well (they always do!), eaten well, crawled around happily together, and been, dare I say, pretty easy. But now they are getting more active, independent and starting to know what they want.

I can't really complain but this week has just felt hard. They've both had colds which makes for boys who are a little more sensitive and whiny. Micah learned how to climb stairs and I spent most of yesterday trying to keep track of him until my brilliant husband figured out to put the playpen in front of them (our stairway is tricky so still trying to figure out a gate). My squirmy boys have made diaper changes a challenge, always flipping over and trying to crawl away midway through the process. And meals have had their moments. Micah has started hitting the spoon away, and they've generally been fussy. I think they're ready to feed themselves more although I'd like to keep pumping the cereal and purees to stay on top of their weight... one of our continual challenges

The weather hasn't helped either. It's been a dreary, rainy week and my energy has been low. I've just felt blah. During naps I usually have a bit of time to myself but devote a good chunk of it to clean-up, chores etc. This week it was all I could do to get the basics done and the rest was spent on the couch in front of the TV. I just didn't have it in me. Colds get passed around here and I was definitely next on the hit list.

I know it's all relative. I still get a full night of sleep and overall there haven't been too many meltdowns. I'm sure for some moms this would be a good week, but I'm ready to put it behind me. I'm ready to feel better, put more energy into some spring cleaning and being a better mom, and definitely ready for the sun to shine. Here's to the weekend and an awesome husband who always give me a break. Have a good one!

Who To Vote For

As the federal elections are approaching in less than a week, I am trying to figure out who to vote for. They would hardly be on my radar aside from the signs I see on people's lawns and the half hour of CBC radio I listen to every morning when I feed my boys their breakfast. I confess that I find Canadian politics quite boring and to be honest, I don't really care that much (*gasp*). Perhaps I should. Perhaps I'm not being a good Canadian citizen. It's not that I don't care about politics at all or think they matter. No doubt if there was an election going in Zimbabwe I'd be following closely. I am more engaged when it comes to municipal or provincial elections. I live in Mississauga, home of Hazel McCallion and I'm happy to cast my vote to keep her in power. Provincially there is often an issue related to education I care about and it effects my profession and my children. But federally, I don't really care. I know that's bad. I'm not engaged in the issues.

This morning I used this voting compass and some of issues I didn't really have an opinion. I also used the "Find Your Candidate" tool on this website which I found interesting. They both landed me the same result. So should I just go with that? Should I get more informed? Where do I find out more about the issues? How much time should I devote to this when I'm a busy mom of two? (And yes, I know I could use the time I spend writing this blog towards that, but who's kidding who, I don't really want to). What do you do? How do you decide? Someone convince me that MY vote matters. Just some thoughts for a rainy day.

Allow Me To Brag...

Photography is the hobby du jour. Everyone and their mother seems to do it now, whether it's just a hobby or a business on the side. My husband Joel, decided to get into it last year a few months before our boys were born. I may be biased, but I think in the short time he's been into it, he's gotten quite amazing. If you're a Facebook friend you'll see how his pictures have evolved, chronicling the early lives of of Micah and Caleb. But my favourite set are the ones he took this past Easter weekend of my nephews (the one above included). To me they look like they are done by a professional.

He works hard at it. Every night before bed he has his nose in a photography book learning something new and he's taken thousands and thousands of shots to practice. I'm so thrilled to have his talent in our family and if he's this good at a year, I can't wait to see what he'll come up with in the future. Although it's a popular thing to do, some of the best photos I've seen lately have been from my own husband and I feel pretty lucky. Thanks for allowing me a minute to brag about him!

Standing in the Crib

My boys are amazing nappers. I spent 6 long months getting them to that point but it's paid off. But the last week has brought on a new phase... standing in the cribs. They can now pull themselves up but don't really know how to get down which is particuarly upsetting for Caleb. I spent the better part of an hour going in their rooms and continually laying them back down today. What is often a 2 hour nap on a good day became about 20 minutes where they were both asleep. From everything I've read it's just a phase and soon the novelty of standing will wear off. I have to admit though, it's pretty cute to walk in the room and see my two sons standing face to face, thoroughly enjoying each other's company.

A Facebook Break

A friend and I have decided to take a week off of Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I hate that I waste so much time on it, usually when the boys nap, as a way to zone out and probably avoid doing other things that would be much more productive. On the other hand, it's a great way to stay somewhat connected and not feel so isolated as a stay-at-home mom. I love using it to network with other moms, ask questions and get opinions. I've also been able to reconnect with some long lost friends. Because of Facebook I had a friend come by and visit a few weeks ago from high school. We weren't even good friends back then and hadn't been in touch since, but have since reconnected through some similar life circumstances and have had some meaningful conversations.

But as Easter approaches I feel like I need a break. Partly I just want to make sure it's something I can do, because really, anyone should be able to stay away from it for a week. I'll miss finding out what someone ate for lunch, some rants about the weather and who has a cold, but I'll be okay. I want to take time to do some spring cleaning, both internally and externally. I want to reevaluate some parts of my life, think, read and pray and I need to remove the distractions. A week is not a long time, but I'm looking forward to it.

A Birth Story

I thought it would be good to record how Micah and Caleb came into this world. Thanks to what I think was going off work early, eating lots and resting even more, I made it to the 38 week mark... the furthest point my doctor was willing to let me go for reasons I can’t remember (something related to twins). Hoping I’d go into labour on my own, but knowing it was unlikely, I was scheduled for an induction the morning of June 8th. I was told there was a very high chance they would just insert something and send me home to get the process started, so Joel went to work. We wanted as many of his precious vacation days being spent post-babies, not in waiting mode. So my mom drove me to the hospital, I checked in and settled into a bed where my babies’ heart rates were monitored. I was an old pro at that part having done weekly non-stress tests for several weeks prior. Eventually the doctor on duty saw me just before lunch and determined I was 2 centimetres along. The conclusion: time to break my water. “So I’m not going home?” I asked in shock. Nope. Time to call Joel and tell him to get his butt over here. My mom grabbed me some lunch and I was transferred to my labour and delivery room where I waited and waited some more. (Side note: During our many previous visits to the hospital I was careful to point out to Joel what exit to take on the highway and we practiced the route several times. Of course in his frazzled state he missed the exit, sure he would miss the birth of his babies. Thankfully we were nowhere near that point, but I found it amusing).

Several hours later the doctor came in to break my water. Seeing the long metal hook that was used to do this, it was a surprisingly pleasant experience. Then I was hooked up to a Pitosin drip to start labour. My contractions were mild and by the next check I was at 5 cm. I was thinking this whole labour thing wasn’t really as hard as they said it would be. I was quite proud of myself. Then all of the sudden in one contraction... boom! Ah yes, that is what they were talking about. Intense. Painful. Not so fun. Joel was an all-star coaching me through each contraction. Another check and I was still at 5 cm. The Pitosin was increased and so did the pain. All the while, they were closely monitoring each baby’s heart rate. At one point Baby A’s (ie. Micah) heart rate got a little higher than the doctor was comfortable with so they dropped the Pitosin back down. The downside was, I didn’t progress any further in labour. I was stuck at 5 cm. For whatever reason, I went into labour feeling like I might get stuck so I wasn’t that surprised. Unfortunately Micah’s heart rate wouldn’t go back down so eventually the doctor told me the safest thing was to get him out as soon as possible and since I wasn’t progressing, that meant a c-section. The entire time I was pregnant I didn’t want a c-section. I knew I had a much higher chance of it because of the twin- factor, but all along they were head down so things were looking good. But I also knew that giving birth often doesn’t go as planned and not to have expectations. There wasn’t much for Joel and I to talk about. If the babies came out now, she was pretty sure they would be fine. If we waited and tried to keep labouring Micah could be at risk. It was an easy decision. After a few tears and deep breaths, I was ready to go.

I didn’t feel nervous going into surgery. As they were prepping me we chatted and I told them I hadn’t found out the sexes. I basically didn’t feel a thing. Knowing it was a high possibility, I had read about c-sections to prepare. I had read about a ton of pressure and feeling like you were having a heart attack, but I didn’t feel anything besides a bit of tugging. I didn’t even realize that my babies had been born until I heard crying on the other side of the room. I found it very strange that the doctor didn’t really announce the arrival of the babies, and even stranger that she didn’t tell me what they were. I waited the entire pregnancy to find out if we were having boys, girls or both because I wanted to have that moment at birth. It was going to be even more special because I’d have that moment twice, but that part didn’t quite turned out as planned. I overhead one of the nurses say something about a brother, so I assumed that there was at least one boy but knew there were two. I remember asking, “Can someone please tell me what I had?” It wasn’t until then that they I was finally told I had two boys. Because of something to do with their sugar levels they had to be taken to the nursery right away. I gave them each a quick kiss and they were gone. I was told it would probably only be a few hours.

After getting stitched up I was wheeled back to the room where I went through some shaking spells... apparently pretty normal but not fun. Then we called some family (yes, it was about 2 am by then!) to share the news. At some point we were transferred to a semi-private room for the rest of the night. It was a rough night... trying to sleep post-surgery with another mother and baby a few feet away, Joel uncomfortable in an upright chair and just wanting to see my babies. I didn’t get a wink of sleep. At some point in the morning I started to ask when I would get my babies. I wanted to breastfeed and those early hours are important, not to mention the fact that I had virtually no bonding time with them. After a lot of inquiry, around 11am and still no babies, I got myself into a wheelchair and Joel took me to the nursery. It was a weird moment entering seeing all the tiny incubators and cribs and not being able to identify which ones were mine. When I finally got to hold them for the first time, I lost it. After all this time, I got to hold my precious baby boys.

Eventually they were both released from the nursery and we crammed their two bassinettes into our already crowded room. I attempted breast feeding which went okay and not long after Micah had to go back... something about one of his blood tests not coming back right. Thankfully it wasn’t long before they we got a private room and that made all the difference. Caleb, Joel and I spent the first night together while Micah stayed in the nursery. We finally got him back in the morning and our family felt complete. We stayed several days, thankful for the support of the nurses as I recovered and we got used to life with two little ones. I was particularly grateful for the lactation consultants that came to see us every day and helped us get started on the wonderful road of breast feeding. Overall, my birth experience was nothing like I pictured with several ups and downs but it was the end result that mattered; two beautiful, healthy little boys who were ours. There’s nothing quite like that feeling!